Ho’oponopono is a process for setting right communication. It was used traditionally in the Hawaiian culture for many years until it lost its importance at the time of the missionaries and eventually came back into practice in the 1960’s. It is a practice that can be used to resolve differences between family members (ohana), friends, co-workers, and/or the community. When honoring this ancient Hawaiian tradition and using the steps in the appropriate manner, this practice has very beneficial results.

According to E. Victoria Shook, in her book Ho’oponopono ©1985 by the East West Center, Ho’oponopono is a method for restoring harmony. Shook says that there are four main segments:

1. Pule- This is a prayer to ask God and/ or the ‘aumakua for a blessing and to help resolve the differences between the parties involved. The prayer is typically offered by the elder in the group and/or the mediator. As everyone aligns with God, it creates a spiritual practice and strengthens each person’s emotional commitment. From this place, people are more reachable. After the pule is complete, a statement of the problem is made.

Kukulu kumuhana- This is the pooling of resources or each person’s strength, to resolve differences. At this time, the mediator will find a way to help any resistant person(s) to become present with this process. The facilitator will then state the format for the process to remind everyone of the sequence.

2. Mahiki- The discussion process- The mediator will open the discussion phase by identifying the best issue to begin the discussion. During the discussion, the group will look at the hala or transgression and discover the negative entanglement, hihia, to find a way to unbind them from each other. Each person will use a talking piece when she/he feels drawn to speak, and will find a way to share from the heart without placing blame on one another. The mediator is there to keep the “blame game” at a minimum. If some emotions rise, the mediator may call for a ho’omalu, or cooling off period. Once the first layer has been discussed, the facilitator can lead the group into unraveling the deeper layers of hurt and misunderstanding. Each person who has been affected by the interactions is asked to share her/his feelings, or mana’o. The discussion process will continue until everyone feels complete. Sometimes it may take several sessions for this to happen.

3. Mihi- This is the forgiveness process. Both parties need to release their participation or kala the issue. One party may need to forgive and another may need to accept that person’s forgiveness. The mutual release and/or ownership of each person’s participation are needed in order for the ho’oponopono to be complete.

4. Pani-The Closing Steps gives everyone a summary of what has transpired. Here the mediator can honor the family or group by stating their strength and thanking them for their willingness to participate and work things out. Once the issues are closed, it is never to be brought up again. There may be other layers that need to be resolved which can happen in another session. The mediator will state whatever agreements were made and a closing prayer will be given; pule ho’opau. At this time, some food may be shared which everyone has contributed. This meal creates the movement from a formal session to a social gathering.

Ho’oponopono is a very beautiful and successful process that can be used to restore harmony in most any situation. These steps really do work, if everyone goes into the process with the intention of resolving the differences. We are truly grateful for the “people of old” who brought us this work.